Breakups

 This is in continuation to the article on impersonal world.


In the realm of realization, relationships dissolve, leaving only the pure essence of unconditional love.

For those who have achieved realization, meaning their mind has discovered the true self or higher self, relationships cannot exist. When the mind is identified with a physical body, it perceives many other bodies, and that is where relationships can form. However, for realized individuals, the mind does not identify with a specific body. Instead, it simply witnesses it along with other bodies, without assigning any special status to any of them. From the perspective of the higher self, there are no separate entities, and therefore, relationships are not possible.

In the life of a realized person, there will still be men, women, and many others, but they are seen as part of the unfolding events with no special attachment. The realized individual responds to them with utmost sincerity and unconditional love, with no intention of clinging to or possess them. Whether these connections continue is of no importance to the realized person, as they simply respond to whatever unfolds before them with sincerity and unconditional love.


The key to a fulfilling marriage lies in embracing change and rekindling the dynamism within.

For the average person, the mind identifies with a body and hence it does see many other bodies. This allows for the possibility of relationships, as multiple entities exist. It is a common habit of the mind to project into the future based on current situations. When a person finds comfort and security with someone, the mind assumes that this will continue indefinitely. This is why systems like marriages would have evolved. However, as we all know, extrapolation rarely works. For instance, if someone likes a car and buys it, they may initially experience great joy, but after a few months, the excitement fades and they might even decide to replace it after a couple of years. Objects, like cars, have static features, making it easy to become bored with them. The same principle applies to any object. However, humans are dynamic beings, and we would not easily become bored with them, even over multiple lifetimes, as long as they continue to display dynamism. Unfortunately, society has mechanized everything, including the institution of marriage. A typical day for a married couple begins early in the morning, rushing to get the children ready for school, preparing for work, hurriedly returning home to take care of household chores, and going to bed early to get up early next day. This monotony continues for weeks, months, years, and even decades. With this mechanized routine, humans have lost their dynamism and fallen to the level of objects. It is the nature of objects to become bored, as they remain static and unchanging. This static behavior is likely the root cause of breakups or couples staying together solely for the sake of their children or due to societal pressure. 

The only way to restore the vitality of married life (or any relationship) is to reintroduce dynamism into our lives. This change must begin with individual couples, and it is futile to fight against the system. The only requirement is the willingness of the couple to try something new. This is where advice from authors like Gary Zukav and Michael A Singer can be helpful.

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